Welcome to the World, Eva!

Dear family and friends,

It was only about 5 hours ago (but already it feels much longer than that) that our family grew by one whole person. We scheduled an induction for today, so we weren't surprised to receive a phone call from the hospital at 5:56 this morning to say, "Come on in." We got here at about 7:00 and just hung out for a few hours. Finally, close to 3:00 p.m., it was time to start pushing.

At 3:13 p.m., Eva arrived, weighing in at 6 pounds, 13 ounces and measuring 18 inches long.


We had a little scare with the umbilical cord having been wrapped around her neck. It apparently caused her to be a little bit dehydrated. I stayed with her down in the nursery for nearly an hour. She was a little too pale for everyone's liking and eventually they decided to
give her an IV to get some fluids in her. It took some doing, but they finally got it going and she'd doing just great!

Jeana is doing great. The epidural still hasn't worn off completely. :) Eva is sleeping soundly, and we soon will be, too.

We love you all!
Stephen, Jeana, Mallory and Eva

Ready or Not, Here She Comes

Just so you know, we have moved up the date of my inducement. I will now be induced on February 6th. This day has significant meaning to us because it is my father-in-law's birthday and since he passed away this pass summer we felt having a baby would bring a little happiness to the day. Stephen really wanted the baby born this day and I reluctantly asked my doctor if he would induce me 9 days early. He said sure, the baby is fully developed. He said my reasoning is considered a psycho-social reason. I say maybe it's just a psycho reason. I left my doctor's office so pleased that we can plan to have the baby that day. But, I have to remember that I was induced with Mallory on a Monday morning and didn't have her until Tuesday morning. So, my plan to have this baby on the 6th may actually become the 7th. We'll just have to wait and see.

What Are You Waiting For? Embrace Your Power

I have recently become very interested in articles written by Gail Blanke in Real Simple Magazine. I think she is full of empowering and positive ideas about truly living life. I would like to share her words to others. Here is an article published in the September 2007 issue of Real Simple Magazine. It may seem long, but worth the read. Enjoy!

What Are You Waiting For? Embrace Your PowerI’ve always loved this Marianne Williamson quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

Powerful beyond all measure — just imagine. Imagine having the power to step forward and change anything we want to change; to have a point of view, stand up firmly for it, and be strong. Sounds simple. And yet even the most confident among us give away that power from time to time. It’s not because we’re weak or because our courage fails us; it’s because we don’t know how strong we really are. Even if we get a glimmer of our true grit, we back off. “Whoa, girl!” we say. “Let’s not get carried away.”

And so we wait. We put our power on hold while we wait for the signal or the invitation or the exact right moment or until the planets are aligned before we take that step to change our lives or our world. (I’m not kidding. I know a woman who won’t move forward with her life at all if Mercury is in retrograde!) A lot of us are waiting until the children are older. A woman I coached years ago who wanted to advance her career said, “I know, Gail. I should make my move pretty soon. But you know, I’m just waiting for my son to get a little older.”

“How old is he now?” I asked.

“He’ll be 30 on his next birthday. But I just want to be sure…” she trailed off.

Why do we do it? Well, let’s face it: We’re still told, in so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that people don’t like strong women. Many of us are not sure if our bosses, our spouses, or our kids will still love us or want us if we fully express our power. I’ve seen woman after woman shine a little less brightly so she doesn’t offend anyone — including other women. One female manager I know agreed not to accept any more interviews with the media about her work and to stop giving speeches lest she further alienate her insecure boss. If she waits long enough, maybe he’ll feel good enough about himself to allow her to shine. She could wait a lifetime.

Some of us are so eager not to lose that we disqualify ourselves before the race even begins: “Now that I think about it, my proposal isn’t all that great. Don’t bother to read it. Maybe I’ll redo it for another time.” How many times have we heard ourselves say that or something darned close to it? And do we ever “redo” it? Not likely. Who knows how many wonderful world-changing, life-changing, fortune-changing, or just day-changing ideas bit the dust because someone smart, talented, and passionate gave away her power.

Here’s a poignant story about a friend of mine who doubted her power. Her name is Lue Ann Eldar, and she’s the executive director and chief executive officer of Casita Maria, a charitable organization that has helped tens of thousands of Latinos in New York City. Lue Ann knows she’s worthy — of being listened to, of being taken seriously, of leading. But she sure didn’t start out that way. Back in 1978, when she was 23, Lue Ann had a passion for classical music and a huge admiration for one of the great opera impresarios, Sir Rudolf Bing. For years, Sir Rudolf had been general manager of the Metropolitan Opera. So Lue Ann wrote to ask if he would agree to meet with her and consider taking her on as an intern.

About a week later, she received a letter from Sir Rudolf’s office. She looked at the envelope long and hard, turned it over and over, but didn’t open it. In fact, she didn’t open it that week or that month or even that year. She kept it unopened in a box with some forgettable keepsakes, taking it out now and then but never even breaking the seal on the envelope — for 19 years.

“Good grief, why?” I asked when she told me this.

“Because I didn’t think I was good enough. I only saw my flaws and failures. And, frankly, I just didn’t want to know that he had rejected me,” she said. “I didn’t want to read what I was sure would be his ‘Thanks, but no thanks’ response.”

Then, in 1997, Sir Rudolf died. It was only after he was gone that Lue Ann retrieved the letter from the box, opened it, and read these words from the impresario: “I’d be delighted to meet with you. You sound like a very accomplished and talented young woman. Please call my office to set up an appointment. I look forward to hearing from you.”

Lue Ann was stunned. She was both thrilled at and appalled by herself. At that moment, she vowed never to shortchange or sabotage herself again. And with few exceptions (old habits are hard to break), she hasn’t. Not surprisingly, she’s terrific at encouraging other women to recognize their self-worth. “Don’t be a smart gal with dumb fear,” she tells them. “Fear is nothing more or less than False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Of course, I believe that most things work out the way they’re supposed to and that harboring regrets from past “mistakes” is pointless and energy draining. But it is worth noting that Lue Ann may very well have passed up a delightful and instructive experience by giving away her power (literally hiding it in a box!) rather than owning and celebrating it. It’s also worth noting that this was a smart woman who did this to herself, as smart women, so wary of failure, often do. I bet if you look back at your life, you’ll find instances big and small where you’ve done the same thing.

But it’s time to change all that. In fact, there has never been a better time for women to step up. And that’s not just coming from me. According to Helen Fisher, a well-known biological anthropologist from Rutgers University and the author of four books, including The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They Are Changing the World, the innate abilities of women are more aligned than ever with the needs of a society that is no longer black-and-white but all kinds of gray — where creativity and creative thinking are so highly valued. “Women have different brains,” Fisher told me recently. “For the most part, their ability to see patterns and possibilities, their ability to thrive in ambiguity, to be mentally flexible, to be articulate, passionate, imaginative, and collegial — sometimes all at the same time — makes them invaluable members of any 21st-century team or community.”

How do you embrace your power? First of all, don’t add up the times you messed up; add up the times you showed up big. I often refer to trapeze artists because I love their attitude. When they walk into the big top and begin the climb to that high pedestal, you can bet they try to recall their very best knockout performance — the time they thrilled an awestruck crowd, not the time they hit the net. I’ve heard they have a great saying, which I included in my book Between Trapezes: “The greatest flyers are always the greatest fallers.”

And this is really important: Trapeze artists never confuse falling with failing. So why should we? To own our power, we need to abandon our fear — our fear of looking foolish and, yes, our fear of falling. Oh, to be sure, when you’re up for something big in any area of your life, you will get that knot in your stomach and hear that voice cry out, “Wait!” But don’t listen. Move forward anyway. Speak up anyway. Present your plan, declare your passion, open the envelope anyway.

After all, who are we not to be “brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous”? Who are we not to step forward and be heard, to take our places in the world? We are powerful beyond all measure. It’s time to know it, to revel in it, to fully and finally own it. Go on. What are you waiting for?

4 Steps to Embracing Your Power

1. Don’t disqualify yourself from the race before it even begins. Doubting yourself is no way to get things done.

2. Make a list of your “wins”: the times you made the catch, made the call, or made the day. Revel in your wins every time you face a new challenge.

3. Abandon the list of your “losses.” No great trapeze artist ever walks into the big top thinking about the time she fell. Don’t you do it, either.

4. When the opportunity presents itself, take it. When the opening occurs, step forward. When the envelope arrives, open it.

A Choir of Angels Must Have Been Singing

With the passing of President Hinckley I can't help but think of the grand reunion that was in heaven last night. Not only for he and his wife, but for ALL the spirits whose saving ordinances were performed because of President Hinckley's dedication to temple construction and temple work. Those angels truly must have sang praises at his arrival. I will miss him, but I am so glad he was our prophet. "Each life that touches ours for good." Maybe that was one of the songs the angels sang last night.



President Hinckley at the dedication of the Helsinki Temple. Notice the man holding that door. That's my brother Glenn.

California Here We Come

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

I found this free program, Smile Box, which puts pictures together in a Scrapbook style so that I can put them on my Blog. The pictures are from our trip this past summer, so don't anyone think that a 36-weeks-pregnant woman is crazy enough to plan a trip to California where she would have to wear shorts and swimsuit. Please don't notice the grammatical error on the first page or the lame captions for that matter. I was just trying to see how the program worked.

Our Very Merry Christmas

The Annual Ward Family Nativity Reenactment. The Pregnant Women Always Gets to Play Mary. The Little Lamb was Sure Cute.

Christmas Morning. It looks like Santa Remembered all of us this Year.

Our Beautiful Christmas Tree and our Beautiful Daughter Admiring the Nativity

Have a Very Merry Christmas

Toward the beginning of this year, most of the dramatic events that took place were confined to Stephen's work. His boss sold the company last year and had subsequently resigned in November. There was still plenty of shuffling going on among the company officers during the first few months of 2007. Amid all the confusion, Stephen did manage to get a nice raise!

In the spring of this year, heavy work was under way to release a brand new version of WipeDrive and Stephen was already under the gun when the drama struck our home life. On May 31, Mallory's third birthday (she was turning two--her first birthday was the day she turned zero), Stephen got a call from his brother Marshall to say that Dad, who had already been in the hospital for a couple of weeks, was unconscious. It was only a couple of days later that Mom brought him home for hospice care. In the early afternoon on June 4, he died.

Thanks to Dad, June was really a wonderful month. We had some truly lovely experiences together as a family. All of Stephen's siblings had come to town, as well as many friends.

It wasn't many days after the funeral that we discovered that our family will be growing in size by about 67% next year. Jeana is pregnant with a girl due on Feburary 15. We intend to name her Eva Claire.

On July 1st, a new sort of adventure began for us. Fourteen-year-old Chiara Aulke, from Lohne, Germany, arrived. Early this year (we think it was in January), Jeana found out about a sort of foreign exchange program. The advertisement specifically mentioned Spain, which got us excited. But since no Spanish kids had actually signed up, we chose Chiara. We're glad we did.

On her first night with us, Chiara defeated both of us (quite soundly and repeatedly) at Rummikub. It was a few weeks before Stephen realized he could exact his revenge through Mastermind.

Having Chiara with us gave us a good excuse to do some sightseeing this summer. In August, we spent two nights in Moab, UT. Stephen had never been there before, and apparently Chiara had never stayed in a hotel before. It wasn't a fancy place by any means, but Chiara was impressed, both by the hotel, and of course by the scenery.

Also in August, we drove with Stephen's mom out to California to spend a little bit of time with Stephen's sister Laurie (and her family) in Sacramento, and to visit San Francisco and Santa Cruz. At the beach in Santa Cruz, Jeana and Chiara were very excited to have spotted some dolphins, and Stephen delighted himself skipping stones and trying to catch crabs.

Three days before Chiara left to go back to Germany, Stephen left the house for work in the morning, only to show up a few minutes later at the doorstep, doubled over with pain in his belly. None of us really had any idea what was going on except that the pain was incredible and Stephen's hands and feet started to go numb (we found out later that was from hyperventilation). Jeana dialed 911, Stephen (still in pain) gave her our address to relay to the emergency responder, and within a few minutes, the paramedics were at our door. They took Stephen's vital signs, concluded that he wasn't dying and offered to give him a ride in the ambulance to the hospital. We declined their kind (though surely expensive) offer and drove ourselves.

It turned out that Stephen needed a cholecystectomy. Since some of the younger children may not know exactly what that means, we will explain: Stephen needed to have his gall bladder removed. The surgery took place in September. Aside from the pain being gone, the only side effect Stephen has noticed is being unable to eat a very large meal without feeling a little bit sick. Stephen sees this as a guarantee that he will remain skinny for the rest of his days.

Still in August, Stephen decided to switch jobs. He was considering several options when his (now) boss told him (Stephen) to come work for him (Steve) at Sebo Marketing. Stephen started work at Sebo on October 1. Aside from missing a few good friends, Stephen has been very happy with the change.

Aside from Christmas coming up soon, the last really big event of this year was Stephen's thirty-first birthday (he turned thirty--his first birthday was the day he turned zero). Jeana bought tickets for us to go with Stephen's sister Sarah to a Billy Joel concert in Salt Lake, and she did a very good job of keeping it a secret. It was more fun than we thought it would be (and we thought it would be super-duper fun).

Throughout all of this excitement, Mallory has grown more and more delightful every day. She is learning bunches of new words (she learned "slippery" today as we were crossing an icy street). She likes to sing and to spin. And lately she asks for high fives. And best of all, she loves to sleep!

Jeana is still serving as the Primary President at church. She is still in love with PhotoShop and our printer. Every once in a while, she will post one of her digital scrapbook pages to her blog (http://ward-up.blogspot.com/).

We hope that this time of year finds you all doing well and achieving your wildest dreams (it helps to vote for Pedro). We are grateful for your friendship and look forward to staying in touch as the years continue to go by.

Love,
The Wards