That's a Wrap!

As an exercise (or mental therapy) to help me process what I just experienced, I thought I would write my feelings about being a part "An Evening with Joseph and Emma." Mostly, this is going to be my random thoughts.

When auditions for “An Evening with Joseph and Emma” were announced from the pulpit at church I felt like they were speaking directly to me. I knew I needed to be a part of this production. I didn't think I was an obvious choice for Emma. I knew I didn't look the part. When I made call backs I prayed that the right woman would get the part. Kind of hoping that woman wasn't me. I thought I already had a testimony of Emma's divine and supportive role in the Restoration. And I thought some other woman could benefit from playing the role of Emma.

Little did I understand how much my love and testimony of Emma would grow and how much I needed to grow. This has truly been a challenging and growing experience for me. It has been challenging on so many levels. Ironically, I found that some of my struggles were ones that the Lord cautioned Emma about. In Doctrine and Covenants 25:14 he warns her "to beware of pride." Oh, I wrestled with this one. I constantly found myself becoming defensive and prideful when the director would tell me what to do. Imagine that, a director directing and telling and actress what to do. The nerve of that man! I know I am childish and found myself reacting just as my four-year-old does when I ask her to do something. Mostly, I think it was my own insecurities coming out. These insecurities caused me to have an emotional breakdown about once a week throughout the course of this show. Man, I struggled with so many things about this play: learning the difficult rhythms in the music, memorizing lines perfectly, and certainly not least of all, was having to hug, and act like I was in love with someone else. I'm a happily married woman after all.

Even though I really struggled with myself and overcoming my weaknesses, I always felt like I was the right woman for the role. I came to see how the Lord began preparing me for this role last year. Last year at this time, I was teaching Gospel Doctrine and one of the lessons was about husbands and wives. Since we were studying the Doctrine and Covenants the lesson used the example of Emma and Joseph. While preparing I felt very strongly that I needed to focus the lesson more heavily on Emma. I dove into research about her. What I shared in that lesson was just a slice of what I learned and came to understand about her. Also, about that time I was invited to perform with ladies from my mission in a musical readers' theater about the organization of the Relief Society. Being a part of it reignited my love for performing and early church history. I then decided to start volunteering at This is the Place Heritage Park again. Last summer I also read "History of Joseph Smith by his Mother" (I recommend it to anyone. I LOVE this book. It's the best account of his life). Also, I know I was being prepared for this role through my mission in Nauvoo and all that I learned and experienced there.

This is my favorite line from the play, "And that the Lord always hears our cries. Though at times, our patience may be tried to the very edge of endurance." I love this line because I feel this so often. Through the course of this play and all the struggles I had, I knew the Lord heard my cries, but was allowing me to go through the trials and exercise my faith so that I could grow.

I felt honored and overwhelmed to play the role of Emma. I hope I justly portrayed Emma’s love and faithfulness to the Lord and Joseph and Emma’s vital role in the restoration of the Gospel. One of the songs was called "All that I Am." The first time I sang through it my understanding of Emma changed for forever. The song tells that the Lord called Emma to serve Joseph and comfort and support him. I came to realize that Emma faithfully lived her purpose in life. She was called to be "a comfort unto my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun., thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness" (Doctrine and Covenants 25:5). Her supportive role to Joseph was a necessary part in the Restoration. She did just as the Lord asked her and any that misjudge her are in error.

These past two+ months have been busy but thanks to loved ones we were helped along. I couldn't have done it without my mother-in-law, Sherry and mother, Cheryl for countless nights watching my girls so I could go to practice. Knowing my girls were cared for made going out the door each night stress free. I am so thankful for inspired friends that called to check up on me and let me vent and cry to them. I thank these friends for their encouragement and advice. And of course, I thank Stephen. He supported me with his patience, kindness, understanding and love. Truly, it wasn't until after receiving a priesthood blessing from him that my emotional breakdowns stopped. His blessing finally gave me the comfort and peace I needed.

Thanks to all of you that came to show. I hope you felt the spirit of the show. The writer and composer, Randy Lee Rowley, did an amazingly inspired job with this musical. The account is completely historically accurate. The music is beautiful and so touching. I am so glad I was a part of it.

Joseph (Nate Brown) and Emma (me)

My mom and me. Maybe she's who I got my dark hair from?

The whole cast

It's Showtime!!!

Why of all days did I wake up with a sore throat today??? I have been surprised with how healthy I have stayed throughout these two months of late night practices, but today of all days is not the right day to have a sore throat. I guess I have a lot of honey and cayenne pepper water to slurp. I hope to see you at the performance tonight. I am REALLY excited about it.

Maybe We are Staying Put

The University of Utah has responded back to our application and accepted Stephen into their Computer Science graduate program. So, we may be staying put here for the next few years. We still are waiting to hear back from eight other schools, so we could choose one of those schools over the U. But, the U has a lot to offer; very good CS program, close to family and free babysitting, don't have to sell our house and move, get to stay in a great Ward and neighborhood........

I'm proud of Stephen for getting accepted into the U. Please notice the BYU t-shirt he is wearing. He may go to the U, but he will never be a real "Utah man, sir."

2 Cute

Our little princess I mean, witch turned two. Eva is quite a talker and after reading her a birthday card from her aunt that called her a little princess, I asked her if she was our little princess she responded, "No, witch." And then she proceeded to give me her best witch cackle. Princess or witch is doesn't matter, she is still our cute little girl and we love her.
Happy Birthday Eva!!!

Scrap and Share the Last Part of Last Year

I recently got a new printer to replace the one that died. With the new printer I am now motivated to digitally scrapbook again. Here are pages covering the major events in our lives these past few months.

Stephen surprised me by taking me to Tooele for the weekend and race car driving at Miller Motor Sports Park.

With the recent passing of my Grandma Knorr and Aunt Mitzi, my mom, my sister and I decided we needed to spend more time together, just the three of us. We decided to take an annual “Great Escape” trip together. For the first annual “Great Escape,” my mom and I flew down to New Mexico and spent five days with my sister Teresa. We enjoyed great shopping, great food, great company, and great laughs. Grandma and Mitzi would have been proud.

We took a quick trip to Colorado for Stephen to check out the campus and meet a with professor at the University of Colorado in Boulder. It was a fun trip and if Stephen gets accepted we may be back.

For Halloween, the girls were Minnie Mouse and a Butterfly Princess. Personally, I think Mally looked like a garden fairy, but she insisted she was a butterfly princess. In any case, they both looked cute.

Eva’s first hair cut. She was totally overdue for one. Her mullet was out of control.

One of the most exciting events of the year was Sarah and Bret’s wedding. It was great to have all the family in town to celebrate. We are all so happy for these two wonderful people and glad that they are now a wonderful couple.

Scrapbooking these events took me back to the happy feelings of these experiences. As Sarah would say, “good times.”

Now I need to scrapbook the “good times” from Christmas. Give me a month or two to get that done. Too many “good times.”

New for the New Year

We have a few new things we are experiencing for the new year. To start, Stephen and I are both in musicals. He is in the city’s production of “Singin’ in the Rain” and I am in our Stake’s musical, “A Night with Joseph and Emma.” When we first thought about trying out for these productions we thought there was no way we could both be involved at the same time. I tried out for the part of Emma and made callbacks. Before callbacks happened, Stephen tried out for “Singin’ in the Rain” and made the play. Once he made the play I thought there was no way our family could handle me playing the part of Emma. I planned on being in the chorus instead. I wasn’t too confident I’d get the the part of Emma anyway. After all, I definitely don’t look like her. And I overheard another woman’s audition (who was brunette and looked the part) and she was really good.

I did end up getting the part of Emma. When the director called I was shocked and overwhelmed. How could Stephen and I be gone 3 or 4 nights a week for 2 months? I told him I couldn’t do it. The director talked with me and told me of the practice schedule. I told him I would talk it over with Stephen. Stephen and I compared our practice schedules and felt that, although it would be busy, we could pull it off. I called the director back told him I would love to do the part.

There are many nights when both of us have practices at the same time. Luckily, Stephen’s mother (our angel) is willing to babysit for most of those nights. My mother has also offered to help. Right now I have just two nights that I still need a babysitter, and I am sure I can get a neighborhood girl to do it. So, I feel like we are being blessed by God and the kindness of others.

I am still overwhelmed by the idea of playing Emma. I’m not really an actress. The singing doesn’t scare me, the memorizing kind of does, but it’s becoming the character that I’m not sure about. I have to become a believable Emma Hale Smith. She is a woman that most Latter-day Saint women already have preconceived notions about. We already have in our minds the way she looks, her personality, her faithfulness to Joseph and the Gospel. I know I am going to be really stretched by this. I am overwhelmed and excited for the challenge. I gave a lesson about Emma in my Gospel Doctrine class last summer. Through the process of studying about her I gained a lot of understanding and insight about who she was. Through my research I came across the most wonderful article about Emma. I posted about it here.

Which brings me to another new challenge we are experiencing: the girls sharing a bunk bed. For Christmas they got what Mally calls a “bonk” bed. Mally was sooooooooo excited. Ever since Grandma Mitchell got a “bonk” bed in her basement, Mally has been dreaming of the day she and Eva could share one. She was overjoyed to see it on Christmas morning.

The girls were great with it for about 10 days. Stephen and I bragged to ourselves about how nice it is to have the girls sharing a room and going to bed so quickly and quietly. We had heard horror stories from our friends about the trouble with their boys sharing a room. We thought to ourselves, “Man, we have it so good.” Then our good turned to bad.

One night the girls (mostly Eva) decided they were through with being perfect sleeping angels and turned themselves into rowdy devils. Now Stephen and I dread bedtime. Eva won’t stay in bed. We calmly lay her down to sleep, kiss her good-night, and close the door then she waits in the dark plotting her plan to sabotage Mally’s good-night sleep and our sanity. Once we are settled in the other room, she climbs up the ladder to bother Mally on the top bunk, or opens her dresser drawers, or plays around on the floor, or who knows what else. Then we go in angry and frustrated and put her back in bed. This goes on for about an hour. Most nights we resort to putting her in a pack ’n’ play to sleep. Oh, and we usually resort to spanking and yelling. So, this new sleeping arrangement is a big adjustment for all of us.

The thing that stresses me the most about our girls not sharing a room well is that Stephen and I both have play practice most nights a week and need to be able to put the girls to bed and then leave them with a babysitter. It stresses me to think they will be crazy for a babysitter too.

A Few Pictures from our Christmas Holiday

From this picture you would think we were the perfect little family.

Luckily, we got this picture before this happened. Which next led to this and a 1-year-old saying, I’m out of here by storming away.

Later, after church we got this smile out of her. This picture made up for the previous bad ones.

Mally was Mary in our Nativity reenactment. When she told me she wanted to be Mary I thought, “No way. Mary has to be reverent and obedient.” But, she proved me wrong. She was so into her character and seemed to really understand the importance of the story.

She did get a little bored at times while she was waiting to finally have Baby Jesus. Don’t we all get a little bored of being pregnant and waiting for the baby.

I played the donkey.

Because Stephen was lacking a job during the Holiday he was able to spend a lot more time playing with the girls. Here they made a snowman. The Oreo cookie eyes are Stephen’s touch.

Eva with her younger cousin Emmie. These two look so much alike. Can’t you see that they are related?

The happy newlyweds. We got to share in celebrating their first Christmas together.

Mally was overjoyed to see the “bonk” bed Santa brought her. Now if we could get the girls to go to sleep quickly and quietly in their “bonk” bed.

Eva holding all her Christmas candy. She had never seen so much candy just for her that I think she felt protective of it and felt she needed to guard it.

Mally modeling a scarf given to her from a friend.

Stephen doesn’t look too happy to receive the hated dancing hamster chicken from Chiara in Germany. We sneaked it in to her suitcase two years ago and now she sent it back. We were however, very happy to receive all the German chocolates.

It was wonderful to spend time with family. All of my siblings and their families were in town. Some came from New Mexico and others from as far as Israel.

Here’s my mom with almost all her grandkids. This moment was priceless. All the grandkids decided they wanted to each give her a kiss at the same time. It became a competition of who could kiss Grandma the most.